Indignant in my 30’s

I wrote last week about a bad day I was having… well, more like a bad week, but as with all storms, it has passed. However, in it’s wake I’m left feeling indignant. After dealing with all the drama from men who had no right to treat me as they did, I found myself angry about it. No one should have the power to make me feel bad and the whole time I was dealing with those bad few days I was moping around saying ‘I’m a good person, I don’t deserve this’. Well, life’s not fair and a lot of people go through things they don’t deserve and so my sadness turned to anger and I worked through that but not entirely: I’m still indignant. I still whole heartedly believe that I shouldn’t have been treated that way – no one should – but I’m also indignant about a few other areas of my life as well: work and home.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m on contract and my contract was recently up for renewal. Instead of being signed on for another year, I was offered 3 months. This is good, since it was at least renewed and I now have time to find something else, but I’m frustrated with the fact that I’ve been busting my butt at work for the last two years and I’ve received no job security. I could have been made permanent, but instead I’m being dragged along and I feel like I’m being taken for granted.

Another reason for this feeling is my tenancy. I’m looking at re-signing the lease for my rental and I saw that there are many other properties around me that are significantly cheaper or nicer. So I mention this to my property manager and ask for a rent reduction of $30/week to MATCH the price of a vacant unit in the very same complex as me – and the owner refused this. I’m frustrated because again, I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. I don’t want to move, I just want what’s fair. I set out a reasonable request, evidenced it with links to other properties (some of which are offering the same set up as mine but are slightly smaller and are $75/week less than my current rent). I’ve lived there for nearly two years, have never been late for a payment, get along with the neighbours and have cared for her place as if it were my own – not to mention the fact that I’m a neat-freak bordering on OCD. I know I’m biased, but I think she struck gold and yet, here I am, feeling taken advantage of. At the end of the day, I really shouldn’t worry about these things – if I sign on again it’s not that big of a deal financially, as it’s already what I pay, but I hate feeling this way.

Other than the indignation, I’m feeling much better than last week though, so I’m glad to be through that last storm. It was a bad one, the worst in a while.


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